i rock

mary and i went country dancing last week. i spent a long time talking to a construction worker* covered in tattoos, who was married, with 5 kids and proclaimed himself incapable of love because the girlfriend he had at 14 was brutally stabbed with a pair of scissors 37 times with "I heart ?" carved on her chest. he told mary that he was incredulous that i don't have a boyfriend and that if he weren't married, he'd snatch me up in an instant. ignoring the fact that i would probably not actually date him for a myriad of reasons, i really needed that.

i will tell you, though, why i don't have a boyfriend. it's because i'm awesome. i grew up an awesome fish in a pretty decent sized pond. and then went to college as an awesome fish in a decent-sized lake. and in grad school, i was one of the few awesome lds girls. yes. i rock. but, so do the other zillion women in the dc metropolitan area. and with a male-to-female ratio of 1:2.3 (the actual statistic from ward conference last year), being just another awesome fish in the sea is equivalent to being just another fish in the sea. not so advantageous. so, men - single men of the mormon persuasion - you should move out here. there are plenty of big fish for you to catch. whether you prefer to cast a fly, bait a hook or set your net, i promise, you'll catch something awesome.


*despite what the rest of the sentence may lead you to believe, he was a great conversationalist and was very interesting to talk to.