a litta hope

so apparently i can't embed from imdb, but go here to watch. i'll bring the kleenex if you'll bring the chocolate and popcorn and diet coke. fair trade, right?

it's that time again...

that's right. the time of year for beating heads - rather, one head, mine - against desks, walls, tables, really any hard surface. behold these opening sentences for a compare/contrast paper:

"The two photographs or the two art piece that I choose where "The Flagellation of Christ" by Samuel H. Kress Collection. And I lost the other title of my other choice but I guess I'll have to do without."

or this title:

"There Alike but Different"

as mr. mb said, "i think that's a line from The Matrix or something...it's trying so hard to seize the dynamic tension of paradox, but instead is settling for the depressing vagueness of dumb."

the peanut gallery speaks

it's my turn to post again! over here, where we in the peanut gallery speak without you rude people saying, no comments from the peanut gallery.

enjoy :)

why i like modern art, part ii

"every artist has an attic" this is the title of a screenprint by retired ttu professor of printmaking lynwood kreneck. sadly, i couldn't find an image. it's a very clever print, showing partial and complete artworks by famous artists throughout time strewn about an attic; the influences in the neatly jumbled mind of an artist. the following are a few images stashed in my attic:

paul klee's "die zwitscher maschine" (the twittering machine) (1922) found here

paul klee's "hermitage" (1918), here (a "site that is impossible to navigate properly." good luck.)

kandinsky here




cy twombly images found here and here (notice the second is for sale...you have $1,338,351 lying around to buy me a christmas present, right? i've been a very good girl.)




per kirkeby's prints, both "untitled" from 2003 found here. also for sale. {ahem}

and last, but DEFINITELY not least, a woman...who's still alive! i know right? behold: "tumbleweed," by karen kunc (1997):

the woodblocks for this beauty were on display in the printmaking lab at wake because my professor, david faber, helped to print the image during a workshop. i drooled over them every classperiod. someday i'd like to meet her.

i was going to tell you why i liked each of them, but for each one i started writing, the color! the line! the immediacy of the mark-making! delicious! and so, well, there ya go. but even more, i like them because they go beyond what you see to address deeper ideas (remember how artists think?) klee, for instance, manages to merge the monstrous with the playful, addressing industry's horrors and atrocities with childlike honesty and sincerety. twombly's works use line, texture and color (or lack of) very poetically and are often references or responses to literary sources. per kirkeby's abstractions are reminiscent of the danish landscape he grew up around and, likewise, kunc's abstracted landscapes are "interpretation and contemplation on larger issues of the eternal life struggle, of endurance and vulnerability, growth and destruction." (source) and of course, i'd be remiss if i didn't mention my former professor, terry morrow (who defies all links). he helped shape the artist i am today.

quote of the day

"harry potter 7 was lame; the werewolf didn't even have abs." -smashly

didja see it yet? didja didja didja?

if you didn't, you're behind because now you have to read hunger games AND watch hp7. you'd better hurry before hp7.2 and hunger games the movie are released. i don't accept late work.

the aftermath

i went to the midnight showing of harry potter 7. how did i deal with the aftermath of staying up all night? well...i slept in till 6:30 and didn't wear any make-up. i thought i covered my exhaustion fairly well till one of my students asked, why do you look like you're sick? {sigh} it was totally worth it. so worth it that i went to see it again friday night.

why i like modern art, part i*

i'd like to start this discussion with some insights of my own, but for now, since there are projects and tests waiting for my red pen and it's already after 10, i must do what i've forbidden my students to do - paste in a really long quote with a few of my own thoughts. ben showed me this excerpt from kurt vonnegut jr's breakfast of champions. i'm not really sure what the novel is about at all, but in it, a town buys a piece of modern art for $50,000 from a minimalist painter. it's described thus:

The original was twenty feet wide and sixteen feet high. The field was Hawaiian Avacado, a green wall paint manufactured by the O'Hare Paint and varnish Company in Hellertown, Pennsylvania.** The vertical stripe [a thin stripe a few inches from the left of edge of the panel] was day-glo orange reflecting tape. This was the most expensive piece of art, not counting buildings and tombstones, and not counting the statue of Abraham Lincoln in front of the old...high school. ...

Midland City was outraged. So was I.

***

I did not expect Rabo Karabekian to rescue me. I had created him, and he was in my opinion a vain and weak and trashy man, no artist at all. ...

Listen:

"What kind of a man would turn his daughter into an outboard motor?" he said to Bonnie MacMahon.

Bonnie MacMahon blew up. This was the first time she had blown up since she had come to work in the cocktail lounge. ... "Oh yeah?" she said. "Oh yeah?"

...

"You don't think much of Mary Alice Miller?" she said. "Well, we don't think much of your painting. I've seen better pictures done by a five-year-old."***

Karabeckian slid off his barstool so he could face all those enemies standing up. ... "Listen--" ...

"The painting did not exist until I made it," Karabeckian went on. "Now that it does exist, nothing would make me happier than to have it reproduced again and again, and vastly improved upon, by all the five-year-olds in town. I would love for your children to find pleasantly and playfully what it took me many angry years to find.

"I now give you my word of honor," he went on, "that the picture your city owns shows everything about life which truly matters, with nothing left out. It is a picture of the awareness of every animal. It is the immaterial core of every animal - the 'I am' to which all messages are sent. It is all that is alive in any of us - in a mouse, in a deer, in a cocktail waitress. It is unwavering and pure, no matter what preposterous adventure may befall us. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would show two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.

"I have just heard from this cocktail waitress here, this vertical band of light, a story about her husband and an idiot who was about the be executed at Shepherdstown. Very well - let a five-year-old paint a sacred interpretation of that encounter. Let that five-year-old strip away the idiocy, the bars, the waiting electric chair, the uniform of the guard, the gun of the guard, the bones and meat of the guard. What is that perfect picture which any five-year-old can paint? Two unwavering bands of light."

even taking into account that vonnegut is probably making fun of minimalism and the idea of reducing life to vertical bands of light, i still think this is a beautiful defense of artists who work nonobjectively. and it describes perfectly why i love it: because it strips away everything that is unneeded and presents to you thoughts in pure form. because {most} artists actually think about what they're doing. because art is a process. because it's visual poetry.

maybe someday i'll speak more poetically or at least coherently about this. and perhaps post some of my own work that a five-year-old could do better than. maybe.

*this could be part i of many or part i of i.

**hellertown, consequently, is right outside of allentown, the man's (formerly known as the boy) hometown.

***if i had a dollar for every time i heard this argument, i'd be a very very rich woman.

turns out

i woke up this morning with a zit on my lip. it was ripe. so i squeezed it. turns out it was (is) another cold sore. i believe i've angered it.

i woke up this morning not wanting to do my hair. turns out it {kind of} fits in a ponytail for the first time since 2007.

i woke up this morning not too excited about a certain institute activity tonight. turns out, outrageous polyester plaids can change a girl's perspective.

peanuts again

so i keep on postin over at the peanut gallery. read my latest post here. and have a nice day :)

i can tell the future.

i knew it was going to rain today.

not because it was forecast.

not because it was cloudy.

because i washed my car yesterday.

the peanut gallery speaks (still)

you will be happy to know that my garage door opener remote is now working just fine. my roommate took it and, after doing exactly what i had done without success, got it to work. i guess it just liked her better...?

true confessions

i might be turning into a morning person.

and i kind of like it.

except when i don't.

prelude

a few years ago my friend miss bell invited me to go camping at glacier national park.* during the drive on the way to our campsite, we started discussing religion. all of us had differing opinions, though we were all practicing mormons. eddie** strongly advocated assimilation to a zion culture. i was and still am adamantly against that.

now there's something to be said about cohesion of culture and brother- sisterhood within an organization such as the church. i have no problem with people believing and acting in a way that allows them to identify and feel one-ness with their faith or other organization (as long as those acts aren't illegal or bring harm to others). my problem arises when the culture is assumed to be doctrinal and those who don't assimilate are shunned or otherwise made to feel bad. we are given principles and can govern ourselves. there are many paths of righteousness within the church. my path is not your path is not his path is not her path.

i guess i bring this up because i have to remind myself of these things every general conference. this is something i've fought hard to come to terms with. for so long i wanted to be on whatever "right" path everyone around me was on. kind of difficult when that changes depending on who you're with. i finally figured out that i have to follow my path no matter what everyone else is doing and as long as i've consulted the lord and have his approval, then i'm good. even if sister so-and-so*** is on a different path. yes, i need to follow the prophet and i love listening to the inspired messages and getting pumped to change myself for the better. i love setting goals and forgetting striving to keep them. one of mine this conference is to be more service oriented and to think of what i can give to {people, organizations, events} instead of what i'll get from them.

so, uh, what are your conference thoughts?

*this is a whole other story in itself. if i remember, i'll post it someday. reminders welcome.

**name has been changed to one i don't like. actually i didn't like his real name, either. (my apologies if your name is eddie. please don't take it personally)

***when i was little, i thought sister so-and-so was someone's real name. but i don't anymore.

i never said i was patient

will you all please hurry up and finish the hunger games trilogy? please? i don't think you understand how difficult it is to remain silent while you all take your time finishing. I'M DYING HERE. once you finish, please call me. or email. or gchat. or snail mail, carrier pigeon, whatever. let's discuss!

more peanuts

a teaser...

the last time i saw a meteor shower was more than a decade ago. and, really, it was lost on my 19-year-old self. i was more concerned with the guy lying next to me than the stars parading through the sky. the "rule" was when you counted 10 falling stars, you held hands. he counted those 10 shooting stars pretty darn quick and eagerly seized my hand, which was covered in band-aids. how romantic, he said. i laughed and decided not to tell him the band-aids were covering the warts i'd had burned off earlier that day.

so with my hands wart-free (for over a decade now) and a greater appreciation for the universe, this meteor shower was going to be different...

you're invited

personal altared tectonics

(i spelled it that way on purpose)

new artworks

by ann elizabeth gedicks

(that's me)

august 11 - sept 5, 2010

opening reception saturday august 14, 2010 7-9pm

(you should come)

workhouse arts center

building 4

9601 ox rd

lorton, va

more comments from the peanut gallery

i posted again on the peanut gallery speaks. head on over and leave me a comment. please.

sleepless in virginia

there's a big fat spider on my sliding glass door. i need to wake up every hour or so to make sure he hasn't come inside. i know he wants to; he's jealous of my spiderman tshirt.

true confessions

i don't think anyone appreciates how much i really love cheese.

study like a scholar, scholar

really, it speaks for itself

video by hbllproductions

did you know chickpeas have agency?

i'm going to be a blogger. i mean a real, live scheduled blogger. on a blog other than my own. this could get interesting, since i generally only write as passion or fancy strikes (which, as you followers know, can be rare). but now, in addition to a schedule, i have guidlines to follow - they have standards, people, a statement of purpose!

help.

i asked for a deadline because i work best under pressure. pressure begat writer's block (can you have that when you're not really a writer?), which begat stress, which begat more blockage. so of course i procrastinated and turned to gchat:

10:33 pm
me:
looking back through my posts, i think the good ones are either really randomly funny (like putting pantyliners in my armpits or chickpeas falling down my shirt) or really personal

mb: chickpeas?

me: yes
i was making hummus one day and testing the chickpeas for tenderness

mb: with your shirt?

me: one of them jumped down my shirt and got stuck

mb: are you ascribing agency to the chickpea?

me: yes. yes i am
here...read it for yourself

mb: haha
it's the classic story, really; fall, then redemption; dilemma, and reconciliation.
you have the same basic plot here as in most jane austen novels.
except instead of a poor virtuous woman you have a chickpea.

me: lol
maybe i'm the poor virtuous woman
taken advantage of by a chickpea
and the lima beans are redemption
?

mb: haha. an uncommunicative chickpea who refuses to confess its true feelings until the lima
beans bring him to proper temperature.
10:48pm

***
we then discussed veggie tales, jimmy carter, peanuts and boxes of junk in our parents' garages. and then i wrote my post...which you can read here on July 8. it has nothing to do with chickpeas, but owes a lot to mb. thanks, friend.

five seconds

this is where truth or dare in the shadow of mr. lincoln on july 4 will get ya:

(video via washingtonpost.com)

and if you stick out the heat (and the dares) you get this:

happy birthday, america!

another deep thought

if you ever try to make your own chocolate diet coke, don't use powdered quik or you'll have a carbonated volcano spewing chocolate lava all over your kitchen. and it doesn't even taste good.

image by lauren diaz

since you asked...

...the closing walk and talk went really well.

lots of people came.

i said some stuff.

the good days are still winning.

summer soiree

yes. the event was actually called the summer soiree. and there was a code - a dress code: khaki, white or cream. or seersucker. hats encouraged. i was more than happy to oblige.

x10 rocked the linen suit

me and miss sassparilla

it's summertime

and the good days are winning.

if you missed the opening...

come to the closing!

i will be speaking briefly, along with the other artists. hope i see you there!

Abstract Realities
May 14 - June 13
Closing Reception and Artists Talk: June 13, 5-7pm

Curated by Trudi Van Dyke
Apprentice Curator: Pam Rogers

Featuring work by Allen Levy, Ann Elizabeth Gedicks, Zoé Hathaway, Cherie M. Redlinger, Felisa Federman and Damian Yanessa

6 contemporary artists in a variety of media explore reality with abstract presentations.

District of Columbia Arts Center - 2438 18th Street NW - Washington DC 20009

can we pretend?

you know what "they" say, if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans. i hate them a little bit right now. i kind of get the idea that the universe is ganging up on me. it's not that anything particularly terrible has happened. just life: my heart broke. it's ok, i've got glue. my employer dropped me from the group health insurance. it's ok, i'll buy a plan myself. my grandpa died. it's ok, he was 85 and lived a happy life.

but sometimes the irony of the universe that i usually find so amusing is not so funny when i'm the butt of the joke. you know, when the plan that makes god laugh gets severely thwarted from all sides and you have to go to plan x because you've already gone through plans a-w and you worry what's going to happen when you get to plan z, which you assume won't work because plans a-y didn't and you realize you should've been using numbers all along because they're infinite. you know? and this realization comes rather painfully like driving full speed into a brick wall because it seemed to all be working out so perfectly according to plan whatever-letter-it-was, complete with nods of spiritual confirmation from the big guy and then, as sherry carpet once said so succinctly, free will kicks my butt again.

so i have some conversations with that being who's probably simultaneously rolling his eyes and chuckling at (with?) this prideful little mortal daughter of his as she tries to wheedle, cajole, bargain and finally submit to his all-knowing plan. (can i at least see it? please?)

perhaps this is an abrahamic test - when one is asked to relinquish truly righteous desires in the name of god. (melodramatic much, ann?) like abraham and sarah raising the miracle child isaac, through whom the covenants of god would be fulfilled, and then being asked to sacrifice him to the very being who gave them this gift in the first place. its a story i'm still not sure i'm comfortable with. i guess the upside is that abraham didn't have to sacrifice isaac after all - he just had to be willing to - and the lord did fulfill his promises, but only after abraham climbed the mountain, placed his cherished gift on the altar and raised the knife.

so maybe i'm still climbing my mountain (it ain't about how fast i git there, right). maybe i haven't placed my gift on the altar yet. maybe i don't have the heart to raise the knife or maybe i haven't even received said gift(s). it's all very confusing. and until i figure all that business out, i will stock up on sweet sweet nectar of the gods, a few choice scriptures, some words from the wise, a lot of books and several sleeves of double stuff oreos...

and pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars cause i could really use a wish right now.

the party don't stop, no

this has been keeping company with the strange dreams in my head.

it's been stuck there all day. ALL DAY.

don't ask.

but it prompted me and kz to watch the official music video in which she looks about 14. so of course we had to google her to find out her actual age (same as suz), which led us to this gem of a quote:

Everyone's really offended by that (the Jack Daniel's lyric). But come on, brushing your teeth with Jack Daniel's: what girl does that? People are like, 'Do you really advocate brushing your teeth with bourbon?' I'm like, 'Yes, actually, I do, every day, for everybody. Especially eight year olds.' I mean, what are you talking about? Of course I don't. Come on.

(found here)

maybe i should wake up in the morning feeling like p-diddy. would that make it go away?

but until then...

don't stop, make it pop

dj blow my speakers up

tonight i'mma fight

till we see the sunlight

tik tok on the clock

but the party don't stop, no

mwahahahahaaaaa

to all my friends:

now i know who you are.

i kid.

thanks for coming!

i think i had more people show up than any of the other artists (because, yes, this is a popularity contest).

thank you for walking in the rain (10 blocks if you rode with genius me) and battling traffic and searching for non-existent parking and your well-wishes and asking great questions and being interested and showing up and liking (or at least pretending to like) my art.

you made the show great.

see you in june at the closing!

what i learned at school this year

this post alternately titled "i give up"

1. avoid use of bathrooms if at all possible. if not possible, use in the morning. the bathrooms are always less disgusting in the morning.

2. ABSOLUTELY NO LATE WORK actually means come up with such a sad story that your professor will be the biggest jerk on the planet for not showing a little leniency.

3. it doesn't matter how many times you say it, write it, staple it to their foreheads, they will still do it wrong. or forget and not do it at all. then, see no. 2.

4. art students are just as judgmental and closed-minded as everyone else.

5. never let them know you carry extra pens.

6. the request to write complete sentences will solicit a response akin to that of commanding someone to bathe in acid.

7. the responses to any questions i pose the class will likely be, "the details" or "the colors" (in incomplete sentences).

allow me to illustrate:

Q: How do the differences in these two artworks reflect the cultures from which they came?

A: the details?

A: the colors?

8. nobody cares about grades until the last 2 weeks of the semester.

9. attendance in class is (apparently) optional. if one absolutely must attend class, be sure to bring cell phone to occupy oneself.

10. it is always the professor's fault.

why is danny devito trying to kill me?

maybe because i can't spell his name. your guess is as good as mine. but in my dream the other night, he sure was persistent. he chased me all over the city with a machine gun. until ss discovered that if you stand on top of a bed and face him, the bullets have no power over you. it was all very care bears meets matrix meets labyrinth. of course, in the dream i was the hero, despite the face-off being ss' idea. what? it was my dream; they never make sense and they've been particularly strange lately.

ps. i love you mom. fer rills. thanks for borning me.

remember how i'm an artist?

Abstract Realities
May 14 - June 13
Opening Reception: May 14, 7-9pm
Artists Talk: June 13, 5pm

Curated by Trudi Van Dyke
Apprentice Curator: Pam Rogers

Featuring work by Allen Levy, Ann Elizabeth Gedicks, Zoé Hathaway, Cherie M. Redlinger, Felisa Federman and Damian Yanessa

6 contemporary artists in a variety of media explore reality with abstract presentations.

District of Columbia Arts Center - 2438 18th Street NW - Washington DC 20009

please oh please come.

yes, you. come.

pretty please.

runnin on empty (runnin wiiiiiiiiiiiiild)

i ran this race the weekend after easter with my friend a.s. (i contemplated posting our before picture, but it looks suspiciously like an after picture.) it's a beautiful course 'round the monuments, usually lined with cherry blossoms. but they came out the week prior and then most were knocked out by the high winds and rain we had just before the race.

here's a lil run-down.

we met at the smithsonian metro just after 7am and listed all the reasons we weren't prepared for this race (this is the part where i complain). i didn't sleep or eat much that week,* didn't drink enough water and had waffles with whipped cream for brunch the day before, which my mouth loved, but my stomach did not. and it let me know sunday morning when i could barely choke down a bite of cliff bar without it closing up slash rebelling. that's all i'll say about that. i started waking up at 3am, stopped trying to sleep around 5am and finally got up at 5:55 on race morning. also, i was wearing brand new shoes and had gotten a pedicure the night before. total amateur.

and now a list:

miles 1 and 2 - cramps in my arches - probably from not being used to actual support

mile 2.5 to 3.5 ish - cramps in arches gone, replaced by side ache

mile 4.5 - remembering that i felt GREAT at this point last year. not so much this year.

mile 5 - i'm only half way? why am i doing this again?

mile 6 - blessed water stop!

mile 7 - considering stopping at portas, just so i can rest

mile 7.5 - water stop is half mile earlier than expected, throwing off what was left of my sorry mental game

mile 8 - calves hurt a little. that's it. stop to stretch.

mile 8.75 - last water stop. only a mile and a quarter. i can do this

mile 9.5 - the finish is just over that hill. chaaaaarrrrggggge!!!

halfway up the hill - maybe i shouldn't have floored it

top of the hill - where's the damn finish?!

mile 10 - "ma'am, you have to keep moving; please collapse over there"

despite all that, it was a fun race...because i like to run. also, finally a semi-decent race picture. i think its the sunglasses. they really bring the whole ensemble together, no?

hmm...i need to work on my form.

*i can count the number of times this has happened on one hand. i like to eat. a lot. it generally doesn't even have to be good. if it's there, i'll probably eat it.

because i like to laugh

and don't know how to embed.

click here

i promise this wallow* won't last

i've decided to make a mix tape**

please feel free to suggest your favorite break-up songs.

so far i have:

johnny cash "i see a darkness"

damien rice "delicate"

martin sexton "caught in the rain"

magnetic fields "i think i need a new heart"

imogen heap "hide and seek"

daniel bedingfield "gotta get through this"

the weepies "not your year"

annie lennox "why"

bright eyes "a perfect sonnet"

cheap trick "want you to want me"

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

leona lewis "bleeding love"

beyonce "single ladies"

mr. big "to be with you"

moulin rouge "el tango de roxanne"
the fray "how to save a life"
stevie nicks (and covers) "landslide"

jewel "you were meant for me"

what else?

*songs and songs only in the comments, please, or i will turn them off.

**did we really used to spend hours that way? weird.

thank you and have a nice day

allow me to introduce

the super cute, like for serious boyfriend-boy.

he...

owns a vcr

loves his couch

likes to sit on your left

hasn't seen avatar in 3D...he hasn't seen anything in 3D

knows what an erg is and the correct usage of such

is the only redhead in his family

is approximately 5 minutes older than his younger brother, 2 years younger than his oldest brother, and 2years older than his youngest sister

loves "the proj"

is a fabulous uncle

lives 15.3 miles from me

makes a good sentient program

real good. trinity-called-a-truce good.

tells stories with details

speaks fluent german

knows how to pack a duffel

is the most sincere boy i've ever met

calls me "girl" and gets hell from his family

thinks its funny when i (sometimes) swear

throws a mean slush ball

likes to take care of me

likes adventures

once owned a party wagon, which apparently ran on blessings (thanks to rd)

for serious.

when you get kicked out of the kitchen

make a picnic on the floor.

and put your back to the clutter and hope your mom doesn't aggravate her tmj as she looks at the picture. or you can block it out. literally.

red eyes are for valentine's day, right? and romance?

ohhhh red is for hungry vampires. i see. in that case, if you don't stop taking pictures, i'm going to eat the boy, with a lovely rose garnish.

look at that face. he doesn't have a clue, does he.

is it too ridiculous to post valentine's day pictures in march?

just askin.

breaking up is hard to do

dear winter,

you know i love you, but i just can't take it any more. what used to be a pristine, fun and happy relationship has frozen over, turned gray and treacherous. i'd say it's not you, it's me. but really it is a little bit you. or a lot. you're just so cold and relentless and i feel i need more variety in my life, you know? i really love cozying up inside, but now and then, really, i NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. it's not healthy to be cooped up for so long. also, you're taking people's power and and HEAT and with sub-freezing temperatures, that's just wrong.  and so please. stop coming around, at least for now. maybe we can try again next winter. so we're not really breaking up, just taking a break. a long one. but we can still be friends. we've had some good times, no? 

like the first time you dumped 20 inches of snow on us in a little over 24 hours. that was wild. and there's no mistaking your beauty.

(pictures from the january 2010 snowstorm)

and then there was the time we rang in the new year with the boy. and he came to the 90s party at my house even though he was in charge of a ysa dance and then gave me a ride to said dance and i played navigator and got us lost, but we made it there before midnight, despite the snow and danced and partied all night long (or until 1am, when the dance ended).  remember that? that was good times.

(me, the boy, and a big chandelier)

and the time i moved out of my studio into a new one in the midst of a snowstorm. also good times, thanks to shellie and the boy. and then the same night helped throw a wedding reception for some friends amidst the unrelenting snowstorm? i learned how to use my 4 wheel drive that day. and the next day i turned twenty-ten and many friends braved the elements to share some asphalt pie with me in celebration. 

there was the time amidst the snowpocalypse (when you dumped about 22" of snow in a little over 24 hours AGAIN) that we bravely took the rav to skeen's to go running....  

  

...and she dug out a parking spot in her driveway just for me...

...and we had to put plastic bags on our feet to keep them dry (and it worked like a charm). lovely.

i don't think i'll ever see 395 this deserted ever again.

and of course, remember that time we doubled with tali and went snowshoeing slash telemarking after the flakes had ceased flying? and the rangers were super awesome and let us park illegally and blaze our own trail somewhere in the hills near the potomac but we discovered that its so difficult to go uphill on telemark skis that it took us an hour and a half to blaze a half mile loop and  never even got out of earshot of the generator? that was great.




oh and who could forget the mobile karaoke party, courtesy of stephanie, carrie and jeanette friday night - smack in the middle of snowpocalypse?

(me, emily, kate, mary)

all good times, but i'm ready to move on. i'll always love you, but i have to do this for me. i hope you understand.

annie

ps if i were you, i'd blame it on that puxatawney phil for making you stick around so long. stupid groundhog.

my ax is ALWAYS sharp (i'm a girl scout)

in case you didn't know, the national weather service issued a winter storm warning with blizzard conditions - up to 28 inches of snow are expected in the dc region between 6am Friday and 10pm Saturday.  consequently, thursday evening everyone in the greater dc area commenced to panic. schools pre-emptively closed, college classes were cancelled and stores are now out of toilet paper, bread and bottled water and lines for the check-out were ridiculous.  all before a single flake fell.  fellow dc-ists, please note this sage advice from laura lorson of npr kansas:

1. Chopping up your furniture for fuel goes a lot more smoothly if you keep your axes nice and sharp.

2. Do not pay more than $50 for a loaf of black-market Wonder Bread.

3. There's more food in your house than you think. Search the junk drawers — there are often stale Gummi bears and Lemonhead candies.

4. Check on your shut-in neighbors, especially the ones who don't think you are sufficiently serious about lawn care in the summertime. Be extra-nice and superconcerned while you are there. They will feel guilty. The evil glee in your heart will keep you warm.

5. If Pa goes out to find more wheat, tell him to go to Almanzo Wilder's. He's holding back some in the walls to use for seed next spring.

6. Four-wheel drive will get you only so far. Next year, consider investing in a mule. Their accelerator pedals never stick! In fact, their accelerator pedals are a stick!

7. Keep a sense of perspective. Running out of Chai Latte K-Cups is not worth a call to 911.

8. To clear your driveway of heavy snow and ice, get married.

9. Stay off the roads if you can ... but if you absolutely, positively have to get to Capitol Hill, strap yourself to Mitch McConnell and tell him that Harry Reid's scheduled a vote on abolishing the filibuster.

10. Enjoy it. Stay home; stay safe; make soup; read a book. Make snow angels. Learn what we already know here in the Midwest — you can think of snow as an annoyance, or accept it for what it is — a gift of time. Time with your family, time with your thoughts, time to be thankful for shelter and warmth and hot chocolate. Take the gift; enjoy it; use it well.

thanks for the advice, laura! it rivals the advice i received before moving from georgia to colorado: don't eat the yellow snow.  good thing i only paid $47.68 for the last loaf of wonder bread after i fought off an old lady trying to beat me with her walker. sucker.

thanks also to my mother for bringing this lovely broadcast to my attention and to npr for employing such a person. the full broadcast can be found here:

Listen to the Story

All Things Considered

[2 min 53 sec]

 

note to self

its not a very good idea to keep your drink next to your paintbrush water.

deep thoughts

if you ever make hummus and drop a steaming hot chick pea down your shirt and it gets stuck in the canyon and burns you, let your roommate throw a handful of frozen lima beans down there, too. the burn is soothed and you have a serving of vegetables ready to eat.

suspicion confirmed

i interrupt your blogsurfing break from your productive workday to bring you this perfectly useless and very unblogworthy, yet fast breaking story:

my right calf is smaller than my left.

and there you have it. stay tuned for more drivel. up next, if you think you're invisible when driving down the highway in your car, think again. i can see you picking your nose. yes, even at night. how does this effect dc-ists and what can you do to stop it? find out, after the break.

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really, picking your nose in your car doesn't effect dc-ists at all, but we're going to blame solely that for the spread of the swine flu and caution you about an impending epidemic if it isn't stopped. so what can you do to stop it? don't pick your nose.

have a great day.

**video courtesy of forwarders of emails including disgustingly cute babies, puppies, kittens and other things that make one say "awwww" and throw up a little in one's mouth.

christmas in january

because i'm always a litta behind.

this is the national christmas tree on the mall. and the national menorah in the background, which nobody ever seems to mention. i wonder if that makes it sad. the national tree is surrounded by 50 smaller trees each decorated to represent a state. usually christmas holiday music is blaring and a bonfire roaring and you can walk around and view the trees up close. but because the snowstorm had just finished dumping that morning (remember the 20 inches?) the chain link was installed to keep everyone out. i'm sure it was for safety reasons. blah blah blah. the music was still blaring though.

awkward family photos, anyone?

a little frolicking at the capitol never hurt anyone. annoyed, yes. hurt, no.

the capitol tree is often referred to as "the people's tree" and is brought in from one of the nation's state parks (i think). this one hails from arizona and was decorated by arizonian schoolchildren. we liked it the best.

you can't see it, but the flag is actually flying over the senate chambers, signaling that, even at 9:30pm on sunday the 20th, the senators were still - er - discussing the healthcare bill. i hope they know how to whip it.


*photos courtesy of the amazing tali